Archive for March, 2009

Interview with The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories contributor Donna George Storey

March 31, 2009

Donna George Storey, author of “Nasty Little Habit”

What was your inspiration for your story in The Mile High Club?

In my story “Nasty Little Habit,” I wanted to set up an airplane seduction that could easily happen in my real life. Now you may be wondering if I’ve masturbated on a trans-Atlantic flight under the blanket? I’m afraid I have to take the Fifth on that one…

I will confess that like my narrator, I find the close contact with so many anonymous men on an airplane very provocative. The writer in me wants to slip inside their lives to know their secrets even for just a few moments. As in the story, I’ve also sat next to men who kept glancing over clearly hoping to chat, but since I usually have a great book I want to read, I’d ignore them as best I could. On the other hand, when I did relent, I enjoyed the strange intimacy with a partner chosen by the seat assignment computer. It makes me realize we’re all on the same journey, at least for a time. And why not have fun along the way?

Why do you think The Mile High Club has such a mystique?

Good sex whisks us away from ordinary life to another realm, a sort of suspended state existing beyond the rules we usually follow. Witness for example all the control freaks, men or women, who love to be dominated in bed, just as Matt Conklin’s narrator observes in “Wild Child.” Airplane travel is like sex. We are literally suspended in air, able to take on a temporary new identity. We’re brushing up against strangers we’d otherwise never meet, our senses are heightened by the excitement and novelty. Plus, there’s always that whiff of danger that each ride might be our last. Since we’re all thinking sexy thoughts anyway, we’re bound to be curious about the brave few who can take it one step further to actually realizing our collective fantasy.

Do you have any tips for people looking to join The Mile High Club, whether from personal experience, observation or imagination?

On our many flights to Japan, my husband and I occasionally lucked out and got the entire middle bank of seats on a 747 to ourselves. We’d put up the arm rests and stretch out, his head on one end, mine on the other, legs entwined. Sometimes we’d spoon together and I could feel his hard-on pushing against my ass, cruelly separated by our clothes. Occasionally a flight attendant would glance at us, but that’s back before I wrote erotica and we reined in our improper urges. Now that transgressive sex is very much on my mind for professional reasons, I can appreciate the possibilities that situation presents more fully.

For a woman, masturbating under the blankets is very doable. As a responsible professional, I confirmed the logistics on my last flight to Japan recently. However, practically speaking, to move up to platinum membership in the Mile High Club with intercourse in the restroom, I’d definitely need some serious foreplay in the seats to overcome the ick factor. Of course, in the right mood, squalor can be a turn-on all its own.

What celebrity would you most want to join The Mile High Club with and why?

Jon Stewart. He’s smart and funny and he looks a bit like my grandfather. Plus, I think he has enough of a prurient streak he’d really appreciate a good roll on the seats.

Are there any specific planes or airports you find particularly sexy?

Pittsburgh International Airport is definitely my first love. I took my maiden flight from Pittsburgh to Washington, D.C. when I was eight. It lasted all but forty-minutes, but they served an elegant breakfast on china plates: two huge Danishes, fresh melon, orange juice in a real glass.

The parking lot of the Pittsburgh Airport was where I became enchanted with the perfume of jet fuel on the breeze, the fragrance of foreign adventure. The waiting area is where I saw an infomercial on California made by TWA that made me yearn to live in that golden land someday. (Dreams do come true–I’ve been a California girl for years now, although of course TWA has long passed into history.) And the Pittsburgh Airport is where the man who took my virginity–actually I sort of shoved it at him and said “here”–treated me to breakfast one very early July morning. Driving out to the airport to have eggs and toast and watch the planes take off is an time-honored romantic tradition in the City of Steel.

We all know that in real life, plane travel is often not very sexy at all. What’s your best piece of advice on how to make plane travel as relaxing as possible?

Long flights to Europe or Asia are the real challenge. Drink lots of plain water, but no alcohol. Take off your shoes and wear travel socks (except to the restroom—those floors are sticky) to avoid swollen, aching feet. Blow-up neck pillows are key for restful sleep, and try to get some or the jet lag will hammer you. Plus, always snag a blanket, even if you don’t plan to masturbate!

What’s next for you?

I’m easing up on the promotion of my first dirty book, Amorous Woman (the semi-autobiographical tale of an American woman’s love affair with Japan), to start work on a new novel, which will be a journey into America’s erotic past. The research has been lots of fun. I’m also starting up a collection of podcasts of my work, which you can find on the Aural Pleasures page of my website.

Below is an excerpt from Donna George Storey’s “Nasty Little Habit.” Read the entire story in
The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories.

Today’s the day I’ll break my nasty little habit once and for all.

That’s what I tell myself as I shuffle on to the London-bound plane with the other Premiere Executives. I’m the only woman in the bunch, which isn’t unusual. Before I decided to change my ways, the closeness of so many anonymous male bodies was the first thing to get me in the mood for later misbehavior. I’d imagine them gathered around me as I pleasured myself, cocks in hand, ready to shoot their loads all over me until every inch of my flesh glistened like a freshly glazed doughnut.

Today, however, I resolutely wipe such thoughts from my mind as I hurry through the business class cabin—no upgrade this time, alas—and silently repeat my vow.

I will not masturbate under the blanket on this flight.

I murmur it, under my breath, as I slip my suitcase into the overhead bin.

I will not masturbate under the blanket on this flight.

Pulling my book from my shoulder bag, I settle into seat 33B. Call me a masochist, but I specifically requested a center seat rather than my usual window. Breaking bad habits always requires a certain amount of discomfort, and it will be that much harder to jam my hand down my pants with a vigilant stranger on either side.

I pick up the plastic-wrapped blanket from my chair and push it under the seat in front of me, well out of temptation’s way. It’ll make for a chilly night, but I can hardly masturbate under the blanket if I have no blanket, can I?

“Excuse me.”

It’s a male voice, obviously the occupant of 33A. I don’t even look his way as I rise and step into the aisle to let him pass…

Read the rest of the story in The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories.

You may also enjoy Donna George Storey’s hotel sex erotica interview and her Do Not Disturb guest post, “Love Hotel Madness.”


Mile High Club on film in “Women in Trouble”

March 31, 2009

clip via Film School Rejects (if it doesn’t show up, which it doesn’t seem to be, click through to watch)

Variety reports:

And now for something completely different: From Sebastian Gutierrez, scripter of “Gothika” and “Snakes on a Plane,” comes “Women in Trouble,” a wildly uneven but compulsively watchable mix of high camp and grand passions, soap opera and softcore sex. Very much in the deliriously lewd style of Pedro Almodovar — who has co-written unproduced scripts with Gutierrez, and gets a shout-out in the closing credits — this exuberantly uninhibited indie has the anything-goes spirit of something tossed off in a single burst of collaborative energy. Auds and critics will have mixed reactions, but theatrical and homevid potential is undeniable…

Standouts among the ensemble cast include Sarah Clarke as a therapist driven to drink by her cheating husband (Simon Baker), Marley Shelton as a starstruck flight attendant who courts disaster while joining the Mile High Club, and Isabella Gutierrez (the writer-director’s daughter) as a shrewd adolescent who’s more level-headed than many of the adults around her.

And from Film School Rejects:

The film essentially tells the story of ten seemingly desperate women, all with their own unique sets of problems, many of whom collide into each other on their journey through one incredibly odd day. There is a world famous porn star named Electra Luxx (Carla Gugino), who has just found out that she is pregnant with the child of a wild British drummer — brought to life by an awesome performance from Josh Brolin. And just as she is finding out this news, her future baby daddy is attempting to woo a sexy flight attendant (Marley Shelton) as he returns from what sounds like a busted tour with his band.

Mile High Club roller derby team!

March 30, 2009

Logo of roller derby team The Mile High Club

I love that there’s a Denver roller derby team called The Mile High Club!

Interview with The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories contributor Bill Kte’pi

March 30, 2009

What was your inspiration for your story in The Mile High Club?

I started writing erotica because I was having trouble with the sex scenes in a novel that had a sex-heavy subplot, and I figured writing about sex on its own canvas would be the best practice — like taking an afternoon to practice parallel parking before the driving exam. I went through a lot of “skill drills” like that, the simplest possible scenarios, just to write about the mechanics of sex itself and find the language I was comfortable with, before starting to actually write stories.

Once I did, I went through a prolific phase of the kind I hit sometimes, where I write a handful, a couple handfuls, of stories that have a lot in common while I work something out. Sometimes you have to go through a lot of naked apes to see what works, what you like, in order to let humans evolve from the muck you’ve laid out before you. You don’t settle for the first thing to climb down from the trees.

In this case, what I liked was the second-person narration and the present tense. That’s what I started with. The immediacy and intimacy of that. It’s a little wrong. Stories told that way can make you a little uncomfortable, they’re a little presumptuous. Setting it on an airplane — both public and confined — followed from that, and so did the anonymity of the characters, as a contrast to that intimacy.

Why do you think The Mile High Club has such a mystique?

An airplane is a public space — well, usually, and in my story — but at the same time, it’s one you can’t leave. It’s a rare space, too. It’s a technological privilege to be able to occupy that space. There’s already something ballsy about being up there, no matter what you’re up to.

Do you have any tips for people looking to join The Mile High Club, whether from personal experience, observation or imagination?

Those bathrooms are smaller than they look in the movies.

What celebrity would you most want to join The Mile High Club with and why?

Natalie Wood, around 1969 — the year Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice came out. She looks amazing in that. Plus, she was barely over 5 feet tall. Like I said, those bathrooms are small.

Are there any specific planes or airports you find particularly sexy?

Sadly, none come to mind.

We all know that in real life, plane travel is often not very sexy at all. What’s your best piece of advice on how to make plane travel as relaxing as possible?

Vicodin, melatonin, and never check your luggage.

What’s next for you?

I have a story in your upcoming spanking anthology that I’m very happy with, and a number of ideas, some of which will bloom into things that make a few people wet, a few people hard.

Bill Kte’pi’s story “34B” is the opener to The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories. I always start my books with what I think is the strongest story, and his is so hot and twisted and perfect, it was fitting to kick the book off with a bang! Below is a short excerpt; buy the book to read the entire story and find out what happens next.

SWF seeks adventure. 34, attractive, strong, professional, healthy, happy. Seeking that missing piece and a man to take control. Tell me what you have to offer.

Every time the car hit one of those speed bumps on Airline Highway, you think about turning around. This is thrilling, yes–but stupid, too. Stupid to spend this kind of money over a man you’ve never met.

Nancy–be on the flight from Baltimore to Portland: I’ve pasted the itinerary at the bottom of this email. Buy a ticket for seat 34B. I’ll reserve 34C. I’m buying two tickets; I’ll leave C empty until it’s time.

Waiting in line for your ticket, waiting to board, you look at the men around you, even though you know he isn’t one of them. He’ll board the second flight, when you switch planes in Baltimore. You don’t know where he’s from. He doesn’t know where you’re from.

As you go through security, you half hope you’re stopped for something, that the emery board in your purse disqualifies you from air travel, that overzealous air marshals decide you’re a threat to national securit–and you get sent home to your matching plates and new stereo and warm safe bed.

You fidget on the plane to Baltimore, unable to concentrate on the paperback you brought in your purse. You glance down at your lap to see if anyone can tell you’re not wearing panties. Baltimore is a forty-seven-minute layover that seems to stretch on for hours.

You board the second plane.

34B–it sounds like a bra size. You don’t even know his name. You gave yoursæyour real name, though he may assume otherwise–but he never offered his and you didn’t want to ask and have him say no. You didn’t want to establish his right to tell you no that quickly.

This is stupid. But it’s safe, isn’t it?

He pointed that out when you hinted at your uncertainty a month ago: It’s an airplane. What is it you think I can do without you letting me do it?

Gorgeous gondolas in Abu Dhabi

March 27, 2009


From Hotel Chatter:

Due to open later this year with 301 guest rooms and suites, the Traders (under the Shangri-La umbrella of hotels) is a small step down from the over-the-top opulence and high pricing of the Shangri-La, but it will nonetheless have access to all of the complex’s amenities.

To reach any of the Qaryat Al Beri attractions, which include an Arabic souk, numerous swimming pools, CHI Spa at Shangri-La and Chinese, Vietnamese and French restaurants, you’ll have to hop into either a club car or a short abra (Arabic gondola) for a ride on the waterway. Reminds you of Vegas’ Venetian Hotel, doesn’t it?

So long as they don’t force the gondoliers to sing and take our picture for tips, then we’re totally cool with gondolas appearing outside of Venice and Vegas, especially if they’re to be used as actual transportation.

Interview with The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories contributor Sommer Marsden

March 27, 2009

What was your inspiration for your story in The Mile High Club?

Jamie Lee Curtis. No. Seriously. She is my everlasting and persistent girl crush. I think I’ve fallen even harder for her as she ages. She does the gray cropped sexy hair very well. Okay, so inspiration was Jamie Lee Curtis *and* an agonizingly long flight I had one time from LAX to BWI. Fifteen thousand stopovers (not quite), one Australian woman, many Cokes, ten thousand cigarettes (on stopovers) and a Stephen King novel later…I was home.

Why do you think The Mile High Club has such a mystique?

It’s sort of a “I Kissed the Blarney Stone!” kind of thing, I think. Once people know it’s possible to get away with, everybody wants in. Plus all those rumors about altitude enhanced orgasms and whatnot. Who could resist?

Do you have any tips for people looking to join The Mile High Club, whether from personal experience, observation or imagination??

Try to be quiet. Don’t laugh too much. Most certainly do not do a full-on porn star orgasm. I’m not really sure. I’m hoping to get a few tips from the book!

What celebrity would you most want to join The Mile High Club with and why?

Um…Jamie Lee Curtis? But don’t tell her.

Are there any specific planes or airports you find particularly sexy?

Not so much. But I do find those gangways sexy. I can picture getting hot and heavy in a gangway right before the door to board.

We all know that in real life, plane travel is often not very sexy at all. What’s your best piece of advice on how to make plane travel as relaxing as possible?

Drink. Heavily. Fine, fine. If you don’t want to drink heavily, pack yourself a nice emergency kit of things you love, a really good book, a ‘slipper book’ (a well loved, beat up, often read tome) in case that book sucks, and a few things you normally don’t allow yourself. Like me, I try not to eat the whole roll of Sprees. But if I have to fly, I might pack two rolls for the flight. But that could just be my oral fixation talking.

What’s next for you?

Lucky 13: Thirteen Tales of Getting Lucky due out from eXcessica and a whole slew of other fun stuff. That and another cup of coffee.

Do you have anything else to add about The Mile High Club?

The actual club? I would like to join, please. The book? I love that cover. It makes me…want to grab the man and go fly somewhere. Anywhere. Right now.

Here’s an excerpt from Sommer Marsden’s story “The Scream Queen” from The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories.

“You don’t like to fly?” Her breath was hot along my neck and for a moment I forgot about the turbulence and just wanted to kiss her.

“Not so much. Not a big fan, actually. But business is business and I’m flying out to scout a location in New York and…” I shrugged.

“My hometown.” She said the words right against my earlobe and the vibration meandered down my belly to my pussy. I shifted in the cramped airplane seat and felt the seat belt rub my belly in a not unpleasant way.

I cleared my throat and reminded myself who this woman was. Jannie Blair was not interested in me. I was suffering from delusions of grandeur. She was one of the premier slasher sirens. She had screamed with the best of them and had made blood and terror sexy. She had thoroughly earned her name, the Scream Queen. I shifted. “Have you been to Rico’s? That’s what I’m looking at. We’re shooting a huge vampire smack down in Rico’s. The stonework and gargoyles are amazing. At least from the photos I’ve seen.”

“They are.” The words were no sooner out of her mouth than she leaned in and nipped my ear. I gave a little cry and her hand moved just a fraction of an inch higher on my leg.

“Oh. Good. I…” I what? I had no idea. My brain had short-circuited and my body had hijacked all sensation. My heart was banging restlessly and my pulse jumped in my neck. I shook my head because I felt dizzy and the plane jumped, making it that much worse.

“I like your skirt. It’s what a real woman would wear,” she said. Her breath smelled like chocolate.

“I’m sorry?”

“Oh. Don’t be.” She laughed at her own joke and the crow’s feet at the corners of her big blue eyes deepened. There was something sexy about how they made her bright blue eyes even brighter. “What I mean is, I watch all these professional women walking around dressed like teenagers. This is beyond sexy, this skirt. And it shows off your hips.”

Yeah. My hips. I wasn’t too crazy about my hips. But I was starting to think the whole shower scene had been fairly accurate. She was flirting with me. “Thanks. Thank you.” Then before I could still my tongue, I blurted, “I have to pee.”

Read the rest of “The Scream Queen” in The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories.

Catch more of Sommer’s writing at her blog Smut Girl.

MTA Service Specialists can service me any time!

March 26, 2009

<MTA Service Specialists
photo of the MTA Service Specialists by Zandy Mangold (via Staten-Island Real-Time News

No, this isn’t about a plane, or the mile high club, but a) the outfits are hot, b) the campaign is cheeky, and c) the MTA fare hikes, especially combined with what can only be called lackluster service, are absolutely ridiculous. I love this sexy art protest…it only would’ve been better if they were passing out cupcakes!

Who are the MTA Service Specialists? I’ll let them tell you:

Their names (via MySpace) are:

Kae Burke

Kiki Valentine

Lauren Larken

and Anya Sapozhnikova

From The New York Daily News:

The MTA has found yet another way to make riding the subways more miserable.

On top of fare hikes and service cuts, it’s now dumping on “MTA service specialists,” four women who voluntarily ride the rails to help straphangers get around quicker and happier.


The Metropolitan Transportation Authority thinks the smiling women in their 1940s-style stewardess uniforms are giving riders the idea that the MTA is actually improving service, said specialist Kiki Valentine.

MTA lawyers filed a cease-and-desist order Tuesday giving the volunteers 72 hours to remove a video and make other changes on their Web site,, which the MTA says makes unfair use of the agency’s “intellectual property.”

And they have a video:

And another photo by Zandy Mangold, just because I couldn’t resist:

Redbook says: Go ahead and join the Mile High Club!

March 24, 2009

According to Redbook, sex on a plane is a go, as long as you’re careful:

The Mile-High Club: Should you become a member?
It’s no shock that teeny-tiny airplane bathrooms aren’t optimal for lovemaking — they hardly accommodate one body, let alone two. For maximum maneuverability, stand with one leg on the toilet with your man embracing you from behind. “And discretion is key,” adds Gardos. “Plan it so that one of you enters the bathroom a couple minutes before the other: Quickies are ideal.” According to JetBlue Airways spokesperson Brandon Hamm, flight attendants use their discretion with onboard hookups, usually asking passengers to discontinue behaviors that might make others uncomfortable. So go ahead and risk it, but be sneaky or prepare to be told to return to your seats and buckle up!

FREE Mile High Club story: “Wild Child” by Matt Conklin

March 23, 2009

If you like this FREE erotica story, do check out all the hot plane erotica in The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories. TODAY, March 23rd only, buy The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories from and get any of Rachel Kramer Bussel’s Cleis Press titles free! 2 for the price of 1!


I’m running a special promotion: order The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories from anytime on Monday, March 23rd, and I’ll send you any of my Cleis Press books you want, for free (Do Not Disturb, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, Yes, Sir, Yes, Ma’am, He’s on Top, She’s on Top, Rubber Sex, Crossdessing, Hide and Seek, Caught Looking, Rubber Sex, Best Sex Writing 2008, Best Sex Writing 2009).


1. Purchase The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories on March 23, 2009 from (MUST be on that date and MUST be from

2. Forward the receipt to milehighantho at AND tell me which of the above books you’d like

U.S. addresses only (sorry!)

Thanks for your support! Read the book’s introduction here

Wild Child
by Matt Conklin

Sex on planes is stupid. These people think they’re so cool for joining the “Mile High Club.” They probably think that sneaking a joint makes them oh so rebellious too. Whatever. Fucking on airplanes is overrated. They’re just dumb conformists who want to do it because they read about it in a magazine. I just want to get to L.A. already. This whole thing is stupid….

I couldn’t help looking over her shoulder. She was sitting right next to me, after all, and I’ve never been one not to notice a woman, even if she is fifteen years my junior. But even if I weren’t the type to try to see what my seatmate was reading or check her out, the furious way this girl was scribbling in her notebook, a loud, angry kind of scrawl, was the equivalent of pounding a piano keyboard, hard, and it was difficult to ignore.

Her entire aura was angry, and she was dressed in typical post-teen fashion–black tank top over jeans, with a black hoodie, plenty of black eyeliner, an eyebrow ring and a scowl. Oh, and dark green Converse sneakers. As I took in her words, I knew immediately that she was a all but a virgin. She was too fired up, too cocky, to have ever fully surrendered to a boy–or a girl. She had all the charm of a young woman whose sensuality is hidden not so deeply beneath the surface, who just hasn’t figured it out yet.

She made me want to smack some sense into her, or fuck her. I could’ve told her to grow up, but what would be the point? So she could become jaded, I mean, “mature,” like me? No, I figured I could have some fun with her, though, and maybe let Miss Attitude know that there’s more than one way to get screwed on an airplane.

Her eyes, once you got past the shaggy bangs and overdone makeup, were almost sexy. And yes, I was now officially a dirty old man, likely twice her age or damn close, for even considering what she had going on under that hoodie. But she started it, and I felt like it was in both our best interest to pursue it.

“You’re wrong, you know,” I said in as snotty a voice as I could muster. Like meets like and all that. “It’s not just about yuppies sneaking off for a quickie and calling it the best sex of the year. There are all kinds of ways to fuck on a plane. You’re just too young to know about them.”

She glared up at me, and let me tell you, it was the sexiest glare I’d ever seen, the kind of sneer that says “Leave me alone” and “I want to suck your cock” at the very same time, the kind of stare that made my dick even harder. “Like you’d know,” she muttered, then cut me with her eyes before turning to face the window, deliberately closing her journal and curling up into a ball as best she could within the confines of the seats. Normally, I don’t care what my neighbors are reading or eating or doing on a plane; I’m intent on getting where I’m going as quickly as possible. I’ve had my share of fun on planes, but for the most part I think they’re utilitarian vehicles, the fastest way to get from point A to point B, nothing to get too excited about.

But I was excited about this girl, because she was definitely a girl, not a womanænot even close. I’d been spending my time with women who’d been around the block, who knew exactly how to give a blow job designed to make me melt, who approached sex like a sport they’d already won several medals in. Maybe that’s not totally fair, but I was bored. I was on the plane because I wanted to shake things up, not necessarily with a wild fling, but with something different. I’d been certain a quick trip to Miami would snap me out of my rut. I’d fantasized about somewhere more exotic, but time was even tighter than money and I just wanted to be in the sun, soak up a few rays, ogle some chicks in bikinis and flirt and drink and not think about my latest breakup or my job performance. Things were salvageable at work, but I wasn’t exactly going to be made employee of the year. I’d been drinking too much and had taken some of my frustration out on Heather, who’d finally had enough. But looking at this girl full of smoldering sex appeal buried beneath layers of goth indifference, I wondered if maybe I didn’t even need to get to the land of beaches, sunshine and Cuban flair for that to happen. This wild child seemed tailor-made for that, and like she could use someone to talk some sense into her before she became jaded like all the others.

Just then the stewardess came by and asked about drinks. My companion surprised me by ordering a club soda. I opted for wateræwith extra ice, and a whiskey. I smiled politely even as my mind formed deviant plans. My seatmate continued to pretend to ignore me, but I sensed her eyes peering at me over her shoulder. I pulled out a book, some thick thriller on the bestseller list I’d grabbed off the shelves. I used to have a stack of books just waiting to be read, and would sometimes rush home to them like they were old friends, but lately all I’d been reading were labels on jars and captions on my TV screen.

I tried to act like I was immersed in the book, playing hard to get, if you will, but when the stewardess returned with my requested cup of ice, I was grateful for the chance to pull out my tray, and grinned up at her. I think she thought I was flirting with her, from the way she leaned down, thrusting her tits in my face. That brief nearness made my seatmate a little jealous, apparently, because she scowled at the woman and demanded both a Coke and a tomato juice. “You better not spill on me,” I said to her like she was eight.

“Why don’t you just mind your own business?” she snapped back.

“Are you sure that’s really what you want…Donna?” I asked, having copped a glance at the copy of Bust with its address label still attached she’d been rifling through.
“You’re damn nosy, you know that?”

“You were the one writing about something that I happen to have a vested interest in.”

“I was writing in my journal, you idiot.”

“Fine. Stay young and uninformed, I don’t care,” I said, sipping the whisky I’d so wisely had the busty stewardess bring me. I reached for my book again and tried to imagine I was in first class. But my cock was insistent that I not let this one get away.

I ignored her for as long as I could stand it before turning toward her. She now had her headphones on full blast, her hoodie hiked up around her ears, and her body turned all the way away from me, her petite build allowing her to sit with her legs tucked against her as she faced the window, staring into the darkening sky.
“The ice is melting. Such a shame,” I said quietly.

“Why?” She wasn’t exactly gracious, but I was pretty sure I had piqued her interest.

“I don’t know. Some people, you know, those stuffy, uptight dickwads you think so highly of, might be interested in playing with ice, like a sex toy. I’m sure that would be way beneath you, so there’s no point in even going on about it.”

There was silence for a few minutes as I sipped my drink and actually let myself get sucked into the mystery novel, the first clues making my brain spin with possibilities. Just when I thought I had a lead on who the killer might be, she spoke again. “Not that I actually care or anything, but what exactly would you do with the ice? And how do you do it without getting caught?”

I turned to look at her and her eyes seemed wider, the makeup seeming to fade as she stared up at me. “Well, the only real way to tell you is to show you. Otherwise it’ll just sound boring. Do you think you’re up for it? I’m not so sure a delicate flower like you could stand it. It’s really more for the…masochistic sort of girl.” Of course I already knew that she was as submissive as they come. It’s the bratty ones who always need a good spanking, and the sniveling, simpering ones who are actually the biggest bitches once you scratch that outer layer. Time and time again, my theory has been proven right, as ballsy babes who’ve busted my nuts at work or among friends have begged to have their hair pulled, to choke on my cock, to be degraded in ways even I hadn’t thought of.

Donna looked up at me and nodded. “I can take it.” She said it like I was about to take her before a firing squad, rather than make her more aware of her nipples than she’d ever been.

“Try not to sound too enthusiastic,” I said right into her ear. She shivered, and I made my lips brush against her lobe. “Cold?”

“No, I’m fine,” she said.

“Good, because you’re about to get a lot colder.” And with a practiced move, I took one of the pieces of ice in my hand, put my arm around her, and quickly worked it below her T-shirt and into her bra. I made sure it was secure there, as I felt it start to melt just a little. I allowed my fingers only a brief meeting with her already-hardening flesh before removing my hand and patting her on the shoulder.

She looked at me again, her mouth open, fishlike. “Don’t say anything. It’s better that way. Just take deep breaths and focus on the sensation. And get used to it because I’m about to add another one,” I told her. Her face could not have looked more shocked. Having ice melting against your nipples is one of those things you can’t really prepare for. Even if you think you know what you’re getting into, the reality is more painful, chilling, and exciting than you could have expected.

“Yes, there’s going to be another one…unless you can tell me you hate it. Can’t stand it. Wish I hadn’t done it.” The more I talked, the faster the words bubbled out, the stiffer my cock got. I’d wanted to try to play it cool, but I was just as aroused as she was. Initiation should be its own fetish, its own niche in the world of sex.
Watching a woman go from barely knowing where her clit was to realizing that her nipples were way more sensitive than she’d thought, and could take all sorts of torment, was as beautiful as watching the glorious sunset going on outside our window.

“No. I mean, I can’t say that. I don’t know…I wouldn’t say I like it, but I’d be disappointed if you didn’t do it again.”

“How disappointed?” I asked, stroking her cheek with one rough thumb.

“Well…I’d think you were a big mean bully,” she said. Now she was just toying with me.

“But would that really be such a bad thing?” I asked her before reaching down to pinch her icy nipple. She let out a sigh, then a hiss, as I manipulated the ice through the fabric of her T-shirt and hoodie so it was more directly in contact with her nipple.

“Oh, Donna, this is only the beginning. Because in a little while, I’m going to hand you three pieces of ice and tell you to go to the bathroom and insert them inside your pussy. And yes, you’re going to do it, then walk back here, sit down, and make a big puddle in your seat. It’s going to look like you’ve peed your pants. You’re going to almost wish you had peed your pants, that it had all been an accident, because even though the ice is cold, your pussy’s going to be on fire.” I let my words sink into her stubborn little brain.

“But what about you?” she asked, clearly stalling for time.

“What about me?” I asked back, even though one look down at my crotch revealed just how hard this discussion was making me.

“I mean, why do I have to be the one to suffer? Don’t you get to be iced up too?”

“Oh, little girl…” I said, then reached between her legs so she could feel my heat and I could feel hers. “There’s so much you still have to learn. That is, if I’m not boring you by being a, what was it…?” I paused and shifted my fingers. “Oh yeah, a ‘dumb conformist,’ ” I said as I pressed my palm flush with her pussy.

“No, you’re not. You’re not, I promise. I didn’t know,” she said, then clutched my arm tightly.

“What didn’t you know, Donna?” I asked calmly as I plucked another piece of ice out of the rapidly melting pile and put it in my mouth. I held it between my teeth and smiled at her, waiting for her answer.

“I didn’t know it would feel this good, or that I’d get so turned on. I’ve only been with one guy, Rich, my ex-boyfriend. He was always all about the in-and-out—he said anything fancier was dreamed up by people with nothing better to do, who were never going to change the world.”

“Ah, my dear, that’s where you’re wrong. If anything’s going to change the world, it’s going to be sex.” I pried her fingers off my arm. “I think you need some more ice cubes,” I told her.

She didn’t object, didn’t shrink away or glare. She watched, her eyes glued to my hand, as I took another cube and quickly slipped my hand down her shirt and into her bra, dropping my little gift, then extricating myself. My wet fingers dripped onto her neck as I massaged it.

“Now you,” I said. “Rub it directly against your nipple. Think about what I could do if I had you alone, your breasts hanging out of your bra, your nipples straining in the air.” Silently, she held one hand over her breast, using her hoodie to massage it into her. “After that melts, it’ll be time for you to go to the bathroom,” I whispered. She didn’t say a word, but her shudder said it all. If you’re tuned in to body language, a careful movie-watcher, a reader of the book of humanity, you can tell a shudder of horror from one of pleasure. They are oceans apart, gestures similar only in name. This shudder said, “I never thought it could feel this good. I don’t care that we’re on a plane, who knows how many feet in the air, in public, strangers. I just want more.” Watching Donna was a pleasure all its own, a visual feast as my words and fingers coordinated to untangle her, unwrap her, unleash her. I, too, was changing, from dirty old man to enraptured seducer, her pleasure humming through my body as if we were attached by a wire.

“I bet you’re very wet right now. I bet you’re not thinking about how fast this plane is flying so it can get you to Miami and away from me.”

“No…I’m not.” There was a pause, while I breathed against her neck, out, then in, inhaling her scent, musky and flowery at once. “I like this,” she said quietly. It was a simple statement, and from someone else might’ve been a small admission. But from her, it was everything. I had her. I cupped her pussy once more through her jeans, grinding my palm against it. She sunk lower in her seat, pressing back against me.

I leaned over and pressed my forehead lightly against hers, kissed her cheek softly. Kissing on planes is highly underrated. My lips met the soft skin of her cheek and I was reminded of just how young she was, her skin perfectly smooth, so tender I could practically sink right inside it, full of promise. I was too old for her in real life, whatever that was, but here, on this plane, I didn’t mind making her feel hot and cold and aroused and wanted for a little while. She turned toward me and our lips met tenderly, like two teenagers making out in a movie theater, even as the ice wet her shirt and her pussy begged for more.

Her tongue insisted on entering my mouth, though her movements were small and tentative at first. I let her explore me before grabbing her hair and shoving my tongue into her mouth, as quietly as I could, the invasion swift, decisive. I knew our fellow passengers had to notice something amiss. It’s hard to ignore two people in the throes of passion; even if you think you’re not listening or observing, those telltale shifts, those familiar sounds rise up into your consciousness. I reminded myself that for all these people knew, she was my wife—my very young trophy wife, with me cast as the dirty old perv.

I didn’t mind though, and when we broke apart, panting, I held my hand to her lips. She kissed each finger in turn, then unbuckled her seat belt and slithered over me, making sure to pause when her legs were straddling mine, a look on her face that, for a moment, made me question whether she was, indeed, as innocent as I’d painted her in my mind. She reached into the cup of ice and grabbed a handful, then winced as the shock of its cold sting greeted her. Then, still poised above me, Donna took a piece of ice and traced it over my lips, making them tremble, then part. She pressed it against my tongue and it felt heavy, solid.

She didn’t want to be in charge, I could tell, but she wanted to at least let me know she could be. Then she turned and walked toward the back of the plane.
I swallowed hard. When she’d been right in front of me, I could easily let myself forget our surroundings. With her gone, I tried my best to stare straight at my hand, examining imaginary hangnails, my cuticles, my skin, memorizing the hairs on my knuckles. I was embarrassed, a new emotion for me. I didn’t ask myself whether it was wrong to corrupt her, whether I should have waited for some other clueless kid her age who’d maybe banged one chick to show her what she was missing.
I was too horny for that. Her virginal yet knowing body was already haunting me. It had been, what, five years–or maybe more–since I’d been with a girl who was truly innocent, almost ignorant, about sex. Showing her not only how to please me but especially, how to please herself, the uses for her cunt and her clit and her nipples and her mouth, even the simple act of stroking the back of her neck: that’s what I wanted to do for Donna.

All of a sudden, I knew she was on her way back. I turned around and saw her practically limping. She had done it; she’d really done it. Until that moment, I hadn’t been totally sure, hadn’t trusted that she was a) curious enough to continue and b) able to get those cubes into her pussy. Cunts don’t exactly welcome freezing cold objects, but hers had. She walked around me and sat down, a look of heaven and torture across her face.

“You’re an asshole, you know,” she said.

“Am I? Really?”

“I bet you’re single. I bet all your girlfriends break up with you.”

She was taunting me, teasing me, and despite knowing better, it worked. I reached between her legs, feeling the cubes threatening to pop out. She continued to try to badmouth me, but I knew she was just putting up a front. I knew from the way her hips lifted against my hand, the cold wetness alive against my fingers. I didn’t even feel that sorry that I couldn’t slide my way inside her just then. I could have, but I liked the tension between us, liked seeing her react, almost despite herself.

“I think it’s time for a nap,” I said, smiling at her wickedly as I took my wet fingers and brushed them against her cheek. My index finger roamed over her lips. She let me inside, only to bite me, and I gritted my teeth. There’s nothing I love more than being bitten by a woman in the throes of ecstasy, when she hardly knows her own strength, and wouldn’t care if she did. I could tell Donna was a biter. And a screamer. And a gusher. Don’t ask me how; I just knew.

“Take it back,” I said. “What you wrote before. Take it back and maybe I’ll make you come.” I could see I don’t need you to make me come, flash across her mind, but she didn’t say it.

“I guess you were right,” she managed.

“You guess?” I asked, letting my hand rest against her neck, lightly, but with the promise of more.

“You were right, I see that now. This is exciting, it’s not what I’d thought it would be.”

“Neither are you, Donna,” I said, and leaned down, pressing my lips against her forehead. Her skin was warm there, and I rested like that for a moment before telling her to reach down and fish out the cubes.


“You heard me. I want them. I’m gonna eat them.”

That seemed to be the most shocking thing I could’ve told her. I wanted to eat the melted ice cubes that were in her pussy. I would be tasting her by proxy, but she would have to touch herself to make it happen. “I’ll guard you,” I said, and shifted in such a way that she’d be hidden from full view. She didn’t protest anymore, just reached down and shifted enough so that she could retrieve the cubes, which were about half the size they’d been earlier. Water streamed down her hand and onto both of us. “Put them in my mouth,” I instructed her.

She did as commanded, our eyes meeting as her hand and the cubes entered my mouth. The truth was, I wanted to devour her: lick her all over, keep her naked in my apartment overnight, or, hell, for a week. But I let her fingers slip out, before taking them in my own and this time, settling a magazine across her lap and a blanket across mine, before delving into her panties with both our hands, mine atop hers. I steered her and guided her, letting her fingers show us both what felt good.

“I’ve never…”

“I know,” I assured her. This was a hell of a place to start, and as fluffy white clouds raced by our window, I taught my own sexy wild child how to masturbate: how to make herself come, how to touch her pussy in a way that could transcend any number of bouts of bad sex or heartache. I stayed with her as she trembled, turning her face into my shoulder and leaning toward me.

She asked for my number, but I didn’t give it to her. I didn’t want to totally tame her wildness, and I figured this was like that “if you give a man a fish…” saying. I had taught her what her body was good for; now it was up to her to go out and use it. That’s not to say it was easy to step off that plane and feel the culture shock of heading back to my real life, where wildness was certainly in abundance, but never paired with such innocence. I let her use my sweater to wrap around her waist, where a big puddle sill remained.

I hope Donna learned a good lesson that will make her a better lover, to herself and others, someday. I learned that you’re never too old to learn new sex tricks, and that sometimes it’s the least likely strangers, on a plane even, who can show you a new side of yourself.

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Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson almost join the mile high club

March 16, 2009

I think this is so sweet…from The Mirror:

Love really is in the air for Hollywood starlet Lindsay Lohan and her girlfriend Samantha Ronson.

So much so that any hopes we had of some much-needed kip on the plane back to London, after a week of hard partying at the Oscars, were rudely shattered by the randy pair.

On our Virgin Atlantic flight from Los Angeles to London, we were just a few seats away from the loved-up couple – and we didn’t know where to look as they kissed, cuddled and giggled their way through most of the 10-hour flight.

At one point we even caught 22-year-old LiLo texting sweet nothings to DJ Sam on her in-flight entertainment handset – despite sitting eight inches away from her.

We weren’t the only passengers to witness their amorous antics. An elderly couple celebrating their 44th wedding anniversary were stunned when Lindsay gave 30-year-old Sam a passionate kiss.

The pair went to the minuscule cabin loo to change into matching black sleep suits before settling down into their seats.

Sam sipped on a Baileys and milk and started to watch Second World War tearjerker The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas, while Linds grabbed her games console, logged on to the phone service and began texting.

Sam looked less than thrilled to get a text right in the middle of a poignant scene. But she soon cheered up after reading “I love you” from LiLo.

More text messages followed in which Lindsay called Sam the “love of my life” and said she wanted to be with her for ever. Pass the airsick bag…

Then the pair held hands above their headrests and declared their undying love, like a couple of teenagers.